Posted under Jason & Jessi & Noah
The problem with taking over the world tends to revolve around minions. Most minions are slow and not very bright. For example, they are easily confused by vocal impersonations of supreme leaders coming from the direction of very non-supreme leader spaces like dark hallways and behind bushes. The supreme leader would not be giving orders from behind a juniper. Invariably, the best laid plans are wasted on piss poor execution by untrustworthy volunteer forces. Conscripted forces can work better, but they have to be from a minion “species” and can’t be from conquered foes. Something like a clone army, but we again run into the eventual multiplicity problem of clones being slow, dumb and predictable.
The second hurdle when performing a normal bid for world hegemony is that the number “2″ in command can become a bit over ambitious and try to take over the number “1″ spot. This is of course not a good thing and can only be addressed by having your number 2 be at least your equal and, more importantly, with you prior to the execution of the conquest for reasons like, oh lets just use the example of you’re a sexy body monkey love making machine, to pick one. This is why my bid for ultimate authority is going to succeed where others have failed.
My number 2 is my wife. She loves me. Has loved me since before she knew that I was in the process of ruling the world. She has been by my side even as I’ve implemented the more pedestrian parts of my plan like my cover as a hum-drum computer geek. She’s a keeper.
As for minions, my strategy negates the need for clones or slaves and goes straight to the blood line (see earlier sexy body monkey love making machine statement). My minions are home grown, dna sharing members of the Clark Clan. As of yet, we only have the one minion, but he’s vicious. You should see what this boy can do to corn on the cob, it’s really hard to watch. But, in a scant 9 months from now, we will have our second minion and be one step closer to in Clark we Trust!
Yes boys and girls, we’re having a baby!
