January
24th 2010
Posted under seriously joking
Archive for January, 2010
January
18th 2010
Posted under seriously joking
January
14th 2010
Posted under seriously joking
The state of science literacy in America has declined rapidly since WWII despite the radical adoption of science and technology based products. This sort of bothers me and doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. So, in an effort to educate the masses, I’ve started to put together a few Physical (as in physics) laws that every parent intrinsically knows hoping that science laws in parent parlance might shave off some of the sharps edges. I’ll add more as I think of them.
Newton’s Mom’s first law of motion
An object in motion tends to stay in motion until placed in timeout
Galileo’s baby sitter’s law of conservation of energy
Energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only change form, for instance chemical energy (Sugar) turning into Kinetic energy (running laps around the carpet in the living room while chasing the dog and screaming “I am spider man!”)
Benjamin Franklin’s Doctor’s law of Charge Conservation
Electric Charge can be neither created or destroyed but will be forcefully transfered from outlet to fingers with the proper application of a fork.
Boyle’s Dad’s inversed pressure law
The pressure and Volume of gas is proportional to the sound pressure of the cry, measured in decibels, of the child with the gas multiplied by the current hour of the morning.
Einstein’s Wife’s theory of Mass-Energy equivalence
E (energy) is equal to M (Mass) x how (C) close you are to nap/bedtime, squared.
The second law of thermodynamics.
Summarized, energy will spontaneously spread out from where it currently exists until it becomes more and more dispersed. See also the last 15 minutes before bedtime, how all of your toys went from your room to my room and why parents can’t own nice things.
Euler’s Grandparent’s Law of road trips
The distance between any two fixed points on a ridged body will remain 15 minutes away no matter how many times you ask.
Heisenberg’s Parent’s uncertainty principal
You can’t know where your child is and how quickly they are about to do something they shouldn’t at the same time.